Voodo dildo

A businessman is getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knows his wife is always horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn’t much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, to the old man. “Well, I don’t really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don’t know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except a” said the old man, and then he stopped. “Except what?” asked the businessman. “Nothing, nothing,” said the old man. “C’mon, tell me! I need something!” protested the businessman.“Well, sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is the ‘voodoo dildo,’” the old man said. “The voodoo dildo?” the businessman asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said, “Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!” The old man said, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.” He pointed to a door and said “Voodoo dildo, the door.” The voodoo dildo rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said, “Voodoo dildo, box!” The voodoo dildo stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, motionless. The businessman said, “I’ll take it!” The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say, “Voodoo dildo, my pussy.” He left for his trip satisfied things would be fine while he was gone. After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dildo. She lay down, placed the box between her legs, and said “Voodoo dildo, my pussy!” The voodoo dildo shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she’d ever experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she’d had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off! So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn’t been drinking, but that a voodoo dildo was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn’t stop screwing her. The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, “Yeah, right. Voodoo dildo, my arse!”

Funny story I was having a nightmare where I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling and I discovered that I am a nigger and I’m circumcised. Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver’s licence photo and it was that same color, black. I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair. But it’s a wheelchair. That means, of course, besides being black and Nigerian, I’m also disabled. I said to myself, aloud “This is impossible! It’s impossible that I should be black and Nigerian and disabled” “It’s the pure and holy truth,” whispers someone from behind me. I turn around, and it’s my boyfriend. Just what I needed. I am a homosexual and on top of that, with a boyfriend with alot of tribal marks, probably a Yoruba. Oh my God. Black, Nigerian, disabled, gay with a Yoruba boyfriend, drug addict, and HIV-positive. Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair, and oh no, I’m bald. The telephone rings. it’s my brother. He is saying, ‘Since Mum and Dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs, and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless cunt’ Mum? Dad? Nooooo … Now I’m also an unemployed orphan. I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Nigerian, disabled, gay with a Yoruba boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, and an orphan, but he doesn’t get it. Frustrated, I hang up. With tears in my eyes, I go to the window to look out. I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses. There is trash everywhere. Besides being black, Nigerian, disabled, a fairy with a Yoruba boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, I live in a crappy neighborhood. At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, ‘Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heartthrob, it’s time to go. The Arsenal game starts in an hour.’ NoOOOOOOOOOOOOO!Say it isn’t so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, drug-addicted, Nigerian homosexual who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum, and has a Yoruba boyfriend. But please don’t tell me I support Arsenal

Angel Appears at Reedemed Church

Beverly Osu and Angelo of the BBA House

Having some finger-lickin' time.